Today's humor

Discussion in 'The VIP Lounj' started by DYohn, Sep 24, 2010.

  1. Carl V

    Carl V Well-Known Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    9,965
    Likes Received:
    428
  2. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    30,687
    Likes Received:
    1,505
    40263500_1186868904797200_3150671610436911104_n.jpg
    And they still haven't found what they're looking for.
     
  3. Randy Rhoton

    Randy Rhoton Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    7,938
    Likes Received:
    260
    As best as I remember from an old rerun of Who's Line is it anyway :

    Security cameras caught Roger Daltry, John Entwhistle, and Keith Moon during the night freeing all the canines from a shelter. Now the police know The Who let the dogs out.
     
    Denton likes this.
  4. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    30,687
    Likes Received:
    1,505
    40307401_10160914205535078_8738960254840078336_n.png
     
    Denton likes this.
  5. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    30,687
    Likes Received:
    1,505
    Sometimes the New Yorker hits one out of the park:

    40382388_10155956306418869_6033069191219642368_n.jpg
     
    CJ and Denton like this.
  6. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    27,492
    Likes Received:
    1,110
    upload_2018-9-1_7-36-58.jpeg
     
    DYohn and Denton like this.
  7. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    27,492
    Likes Received:
    1,110
    I'll never look at a cannoli the same way again.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Drew

    Drew Well-Known Member Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    8,135
    Likes Received:
    148
    Ought to see the dude make donuts
     
    Denton likes this.
  9. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    30,687
    Likes Received:
    1,505
    8E5B394A-D765-484D-9D6E-96EC2DDDCDA2.jpeg
     
    Mike, jasn and Dan Driscoll like this.
  10. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    27,492
    Likes Received:
    1,110
    Nice
     
    DYohn likes this.
  11. Randy Rhoton

    Randy Rhoton Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    7,938
    Likes Received:
    260
    WOMEN MUST USE WISDOM

    After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of different so she decides to do a DNA test.

    She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

    Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

    Husband: What's up?

    Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid...

    Husband: Well you don't remember, do you??? When we were leaving the hospital,

    you noticed that our baby had pooped, then you said: "Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here.

    " So, I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there. "

    Moral of the story: Never give a man a job for which he is not qualified.
     
    Denton likes this.
  12. Randy Rhoton

    Randy Rhoton Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    7,938
    Likes Received:
    260
  13. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    27,492
    Likes Received:
    1,110
    cgw1dgx38fn11.jpg
     
    Denton likes this.
  14. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    8,395
    Likes Received:
    705
    22.jpg
     
    DYohn and Carl V like this.
  15. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    8,395
    Likes Received:
    705
    27.jpg
     
    Carl V and DYohn like this.
  16. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    30,687
    Likes Received:
    1,505
    42322592_10156508162322092_9055135547940405248_n.jpg
     
    Carl V and Denton like this.
  17. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    27,492
    Likes Received:
    1,110
    cool-lawn-garden-management-Major-Tom.jpg
     
    Denton and DYohn like this.
  18. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    27,492
    Likes Received:
    1,110
    funny-vegan-quote-doctor.jpg
     
    DYohn likes this.
  19. Randy Rhoton

    Randy Rhoton Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    7,938
    Likes Received:
    260
    Hebrew Lesson: Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:

    2image002.jpg

    It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3,000 years old!




    The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around
    the world came to study the ancient symbols They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings. The president of the society pointed to first drawing and said:


    2image002.jpg

    "This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.



    You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.


    2image002.jpg
    The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them.


    2image002.jpg

    Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that during a famine, they seek food from the sea.


    2image002.jpg

    The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews."




    The audience applauded enthusiastically.
    Then an old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,


    2image002.jpg

    "You idiots... Hebrew is read from right to left. It says: 'Holy mackerel, dig the ass on that chick".
     
    Carl V and claud like this.
  20. pillatier

    pillatier Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    3,449
    Likes Received:
    221
    The guy was a programmer.
     

Share This Page