Today's humor

Discussion in 'The VIP Lounj' started by DYohn, Sep 24, 2010.

  1. Randy Rhoton

    Randy Rhoton Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    8,192
    Likes Received:
    410
    A Star Trek question.
    Does Commander Data qualify as a legal occupant in a car using the HOV lane?
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2019
    Denton likes this.
  2. Carl V

    Carl V Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    11,811
    Likes Received:
    747
    Funny line, or maybe not so funny
    “It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long”. [​IMG]
    – The Notorious Cherry Bombs
     
    Denton likes this.
  3. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    33,329
    Likes Received:
    2,500
  4. John Celardo

    John Celardo Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    4,594
    Likes Received:
    437
  5. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    10,524
    Likes Received:
    1,355
  6. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    33,329
    Likes Received:
    2,500
    71181581_2412134825564319_8005400757174009856_n.png
     
    Denton likes this.
  7. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    10,524
    Likes Received:
    1,355
    Fall fashion in Washington:

    Strait Jacket.jpg
     
    DYohn likes this.
  8. Carl V

    Carl V Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    11,811
    Likes Received:
    747
    well, that's not quite the Bondage outfit I'd suspect might be popular
     
  9. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    10,524
    Likes Received:
    1,355
    Methinks that's a straitjacket. But I can't argue with your reasoning.
     
  10. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    33,329
    Likes Received:
    2,500
  11. Randy Rhoton

    Randy Rhoton Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    8,192
    Likes Received:
    410
  12. John Celardo

    John Celardo Well-Known Member Donor

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    4,594
    Likes Received:
    437
    A man smelling of booze and cigarettes sat down on a subway next to a priest. His tie was stained, there was red lipstick on his collar and face and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

    After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Tell me Father, do you happen to know what causes arthritis?"

    The priest replies, "My son, it's caused by loose living, consorting with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.

    The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned", then returned to his paper.

    The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

    The man answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope suffers from it."

    MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.
     
    Denton and Carl V like this.
  13. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    28,424
    Likes Received:
    1,621
    yeakqqaxs2s31.jpg
     
    DYohn, Denton and jasn like this.
  14. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    33,329
    Likes Received:
    2,500
    73026068_10217656596441011_3832924347907964928_n.jpg
     
    Denton likes this.
  15. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    10,524
    Likes Received:
    1,355
    Now: Head of Research at Kellogg's
     
    DYohn likes this.
  16. Carl V

    Carl V Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    11,811
    Likes Received:
    747
    Funny. You do know the back story about Battle Mountain Michigan. FIBER! is next to godliness
     
    Denton likes this.
  17. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    10,524
    Likes Received:
    1,355
    And then there's this:

    He invented Cornflakes in 1878 in the hope that plain food would stop people masturbating. Mr Kellogg, the man who created Corn Flakes, produced the cereal in the late 19th century and marketed it as a “healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal”.

    Per a leading "truth" site, sounds like "snipes", there is this:

    Without referring to corn flakes in particular, Kellogg elsewhere recommended a plain, bland diet as one of several methods to discourage masturbation.

    :astonished:
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2019
    Carl V likes this.
  18. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    10,524
    Likes Received:
    1,355
    Modern Medicine

    ModMed.PNG
     
    DYohn and Carl V like this.
  19. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    10,524
    Likes Received:
    1,355
    SDD.PNG
     
    DYohn likes this.
  20. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

    Joined:
    May 8, 2007
    Messages:
    33,329
    Likes Received:
    2,500
    72403274_2188427347928329_5200143701015265280_n.jpg
     
    Denton likes this.

Share This Page